Like a child on Christmas Eve night, I await the next time I lay my eyes upon you.
I wait wondering, pondering, what’s the next thing we’ll share.
There are things I want 2 do with you that I won’t speak… No, I wouldn’t dare.
Our relationship is developing slowly over time.
This way when it finally happens were both sure you want 2 be mine.
We have had past loves in our lives who will always be a part of us.
Given enough love and time we can be the love of a lifetime on this I put my trust.
Left alone, abandoned for simply being who I am.
Forsaken… cursed…I feel like I am the king of the damned.
I sit here pondering why? I have never felt so empty & deprived of a human touch.
I have prayed, tried & hell I have even cried. I no longer strive to pretend 2 be proud & such.
I have watched as the tears have slowly turned red where my sheets are now stained with my blood.
I guess that’s what happens when U live in a world without love.
Too many brotha’s are going around calling themselves men.
I’m not God, but if I was you know that would be a sin.
All the women you have run & all the damage left in your wake.
Have you forgotten all women aren’t digga’s & have hearts that can & do break?
How many of your former girls, need therapy after you’re done.
How many would say you would be dead when next the saw you if only they had a gun?
My heart, my queen, my love has dealt with the likes of you for far too long.
Now I’m trying to undo your damage praise God that He made me so strong.
She’s scared to trust me or open herself up to be really loved for the fear of being hurt yet again.
Life is a trip and a half.
Sometimes even in my darkest hour I sit back and just laugh.
Why? Not because I’m losing it, but it’s better than throwing a tantrum or having a fit.
Check it out; I met this woman, who I think is worth trying to get know. But I called her on the fourth day and broke the three day rule. WTF? I didn’t know!!
Who makes up these rules and where are they written down?
Now I’ll be especially mad if I’ve blown it and my smile becomes a frown.
Me, I don’t follow anybody’s rules, but my own.
That’s why I call the Avant purple home.
In a world gone astray… where is the love the knows no bounds?
I mean I get having a preference, but has it become the standard?
Would you rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t fit every single point on your checklist?
Are you the equal to the person that you want?
If they got you as you are now… would they be settling?
Do you date for love & to make yourself happy?
Or do you date so that you friends approve of your choice?
If it’s the latter why don’t you date your friends?
Aren’t they who you truly want to be happy with your choice?
Are you strong enough to examine your heart & see if you’re lying to yourself?
A poem written in reverse.
The love of my life died at birth.
Now I no longer question why I can’t find my mate.
We’ll never get a chance to share our 1st kiss, our 1st touch.
I never got to meet you, yet I miss you so much.
What if we told each other exactly how we felt all the time?
What if we act like we knew love is stronger than hate!
What if, we really tried to be someone’s friend, before bed mates?
What if we talk to each other, instead of at each other?
What if I told you, I wanted to be more than just a friend?
After nine months how did it come to this?
That I haven’t felt Ur touch or the warmth in your kiss.
A chance meeting, under circumstances outside our control.
We stand there talking and listening all the while flashback memories, have me in their hold.
Entranced at how feelings rush after time has elapsed.
I surmise true love can, and will bridge the gap.
You speak of future times of a desire to reacquaint and establish a broken connection.
You’re now with someone who is no concern of mine, especially if you’re the one.
Do you remember the cabin in the woods? Talking by the light of the fire.
Looking at you, I knew there was not another I desired.
The times we spent together sharing our innermost thoughts.
If only they could see that is more precious than anything that can be bought.
Sometimes I miss you. I try not to, but we tried to rewrite the book of love.
Although we’re not together anymore.
What we shared was so intense; I wonder could we have sustained it over a lifetime.
Call me crazy at times, I still want what’s not mine.
It’s just sometimes I miss you.
More than I dare let you in on, more than I want to admit. I desire to rewrite forever… a dream of divine intercession.
Never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about!
You might be forced to love them from a distance if they can’t or won’t see the value that you bring. The pain is great & heart wrenching.
To want to reach out to them… To have a conversation about nothing in particular… just to hear their voice on the other end.
To feel their arms wrapped around you!
To feel that you “actually” matter to someone… anyone?
That if you died today someone would actually notice or even care?? Beyond the next favor they need from you.
Thoughts of a Mad Man... 