The good ole days are gone.
Let’s be honest, they’re best left alone.
But I still love you.
However I keep that to myself.. cause I know it doesn’t matter.
Everything I tried to do was taken out of context.
You thought it didn’t matter to me, You cant be more wrong as there won’t be a next… not for me.
I struggle with expressing myself in real life cause I never seem to have the right words
But not you, you seem to always know what to say even when it cuts me like a sword.
You never saw the pain I suffered at your heart & hands.
After all I’m simply human, but even worse just a man.
I should be able to stand attacks on all sides & never show any sign of pain or hurt.
What you never understood off my back , I would’ve given you my shirt.
But this society only wants men who are tall, dark & handsome.
Oh let’s not forget the most important… sense of humor!
Why am I so sure ? After reading thousands of women’s profiles.
I see it as a fact not a rumor.
As of Jan 2019, the hopeless romantic has retired from the game.
I finally accepted the harsh truth, as I’m currently equipped love has only left me in extreme amounts of pain. I accept 1000% of the responsibility for who I am.
Undesirable, Un-loveable, un-friend able… if not for Jesus.. one of the damned!
However I will not pass this onto another as I have no heirs.
My bloodline & the suffering & isolation ends when I transition to the next plane.
So to my unborn son this pain will never be theirs.
While to anyone who reads this you might see hurt, pain or maybe even regret.
Quite the contrary, knowing the next few decades will pass quickly & I will transition alone.
My faith is Christ is on the other side to greet me & I’ll finally be able to rest.
DC
© Feb 2019
Written today (7 Feb 19) at work inspired while listening to Inside out by Genesis. One of my fav old skool songs.
Thoughts of a Mad Man... 