I still love you 

I keep living a lie that & that breaks my heart makes me wanna die
A generational curse that I’m gonna break with my demise.
No More O+> bloodline, no more pain or left unsaid lies.
My past as a child is a mystery 2 me.
No1 older will speaks on it.  I watch the walls go up as they stare at me….
They want to let it be.
In their choice of silence they choose 2 kill me. I can’t fix what i  don’t know about.
U WERE my family, U were supposed 2 protect the innocent. 
Just know U ensured a lifetime of doubt.
I live tormented, suffering alone in silence. 1 Failed relationship after another. 
Buts its all good cos U have Ur family… Ur legacies.
So in the end, it will end as it always has been it’ll just be me
I don’t know how 2 accept love or caring… it feels strange.
I know how 2 give till my heart bleeds & their is nothing left in me.
Its a choice I make/made.  A lesson that i can’t break out of.
I sleep less than 3 hours a day now.
The pressure keeps increasing day after day.
A pressure cooker waiting to implode. 
Which will yet another story that is left untold
How 2 end this??…. 
Not all quiet people are angry or upset.  Maybe they are broken, hurting & so tired of reaching out only 2 be rejected again.
In that their silence has become their only solace & friend.
DC
Love & Light
  © Oct 2019
inspired by the song of the same name by Kiss… unplugged.
It was blasting in my headphones trying to drown out the worlds noise.  Instead this came out thru teary eyes & a tormented soul….
This is about no one specific.  i am not caring a torch 4 anyone. 
I know the truth about what i am. 
So tired of being accused on being stuck on someone. 
Truth of it is if i let any1 get 2 close & they see beneath the surface the leave all on their own.
Like i said I know what i am & that in the end makes them run 4 the hills. 
I get it, but i cant run from what I am….
RIP Purple Yoda: Prince  Miss Ur nu music man
Welcome 2 the Dawn!

Why am I here?

why are we here on planet earth… to connect.

From the hundreds of conversations with my fellow-men and women, 
and the lack of communication between the sexes. 

It was written for the non-player male and female, from a male perspective. 
You know, that person at your job, school, gym, nightclub or wherever. 
The one who doesn’t have all the smooth, charming words to say, at just 
the perfect time, just to  keep you laughing. Or the person who is a good person,
but a little shy around people they don’t know. 

For this who, if you got to know them they might show you life  from a different 
perspective. As a society, let’s stop judging the book by its cover. 
 
Funny thing is; a lot of women think real men don’t get hurt, cry or experience 
a heart-break. Well, that’s not true at all! Now, we may not show this side 
to you, but it does exist. 

Sadly, society tells men, (or shall I say little boys) to ignore their feelings. 
If a little girl falls down, people run to see if she’s ok. She’s also typically 
referred to as, ‘Princess’, ‘Baby girl’ or ‘Angel.’ 
 
Flip side-- if a boy falls down, he’s typically told, “Boy, get up you’re not hurt!”, 
and he’s called little man.  As they grow older, some women experience let down  
and heartbreak. Their friends spend countless hours encouraging them to express 
themselves emotionally.  This usually lends itself to a quicker healing, and a  
general feeling of support. 

Conversely, when boys suffer heart ache/sadness, his friends say encouraging 
things like, “You’re better off without her!”, or my personal  favorite; 
“There are other fish in the sea.” Ignoring the fact that this particular fish 
is the one you desire. 

So fast forward several years,--both sexes, are living life. One day 
they end up married. Now suddenly the man is expected to express himself as 
well as the woman.  Remember now, she has spent her lifetime expressing herself. 
Normally, men aren’t very good communicators--we just like to ‘Fix It.’ 
No matter what it is, from the car, to the house, to our beloved problems,  
no matter how big or small… much to the dismay of our loved ones. 
They just want him to listen, empathize and  sympathize with her. 

With that said, my goal is to show that men do have a full range of emotions; 
although we’re better at  repressing or ignoring than showing them. 
It’s a double-edged sword unfortunately; if you get too emotional,  
you’re labeled as soft or gay. So this is for all, my brothers out there 
that can’t seem to say the right thing, or get her to understand how you feel. 
Hopefully there  will be a poem(s) that can help you communicate how you feel. 
If not in this book, then maybe in my next book(s)! 

On a final note, all of these poems are true and based on something that 
happened in my life at some  point. The names of the guilty have been changed, 
but  the essence is still intact. In some of my poems it may  appear that I 
have given up hope. At the moment in  time when it was written, 
my faith in love had floundered; however;I realized, through my pain that  
love is an extremely powerful force. And love will always prevail. 

I hope you enjoy reading this, and that it helps someone out there who may 
be struggling through a tough period in their life. Most of us have suffered 
from loneliness, or not knowing just how to connect. You are not alone! 
Even if none of your friends can fathom the depths of your pain. 
I have been there and you too  can overcome, just keep your faith and your 
eyes focused on Jesus Christ. 

Don't get hung up on my beliefs.  I identify as a Christian, but have studied
Catholicism, been a Muslim.  I've studied most of the world religion & whatever
you choose to believe or not believe is your personal choice.  I'm not here to
judge you.  For me in the end, it's all about love & acceptance!!  
We have far to many things in common that to focus on the difference & allow
that to tear us apart.©

Love & Light,
DC