It seems most or rather a lot of women have read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. Me, never read to be honest I didn’t even know it existed till a few weeks ago.
But don’t worry guys, I got ya backs to save you from having to read the entire book.
Here they are:
Gifts
Acts of service (devotion)
Quality Time
Words of affirmation
Physical touch
Pretty simple huh? Or are they?
On the surface simple in fact you might think I can’t screw this up. Hahaha Such the man you are… just like me.
Do you know your love language of choice or better yet in order of importance?
My guess besides sex! You’ve never given it any thought.
Well let me let you in on a secret women in general know their’s & expect you to know their’s as well. Here’s the rub she may never ever tell you, but you’re still expected to know.
Sadly we can’t feign ignorance on this one. Seeing that I’m on a personal crusade to close this divide between the sexes, I’m going to help you out & give you some serious help!! Might not seem like it at first, but roll with me… I got your back again.
But be warned the conversation might not go the way you expect it too. However if you have the proverbial balls to do what’s coming next I can assure you the lesson learned will help your relationship.
Now women this can go for you as well. You might even have to start the conversation yourself. But please for the love of God & all things holy. Don’t call, text, email or carrier pigeon your mate & say these words “WE NEED TO TALK!”
Every man alive hates & dreads those words!! Why? Because we assume we’re in trouble & we start going thru our minds of anything we could’ve said or done to piss you off. The rest of the day is basically screwed trying to figure out what the heck we’re in for at home!! So instead when you‘re together just start talking.
To prep you’ll need two pieces of paper & two pens or pencils. The conversation is simple, but don’t let the simplicity fool you.
Ahead of time write the 5 love languages on the paper as the guy will more than likely have no idea what you’re talking about.
What you both are going to do is put a number by each in order of importance to you.
I’ll share this with you in my ignorance in past relationships, I tried to do a little of everything on the list. But my biggest downfall was words of affirmation. In my defense, I was raised actions speaks louder than words!! Thus I strived in my actions to let whomever I was with know how much I loved them in the things I did: breakfast in bed, making lunches, fixing their cars or motorcycles, installing dual shower heads, track lighting, redoing the kitchen plumbing, installing stoves, dishwashers etc. Yeah, I’m actually pretty handy to have around. When I did this experiment I was told that they knew I loved them, but I rarely ever said the words. I also apparently never or rarely told them I missed them either. 
Hmmm I never realized that, again I’m a guy doing what I thought was a good thing. But I missed out on what was important to that person(s)…. bad DC 😦
The next part of this is the hardest part & the most humbling. You ask your mate to rate you honestly as a significant other on a scale of 1 – 10..
1 being you suck!! I have no idea why I’m even dating you. 10 being you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Write that on the same piece of paper & circle it. After you both finish exchange papers & read the gift you have just been given.
This will require thick skin as guys your answer from her is going to feel like you were sucker punched by a brick in most cases. See most guys will rate themselves pretty high especially if he makes good money. Which is great if her main language is gifts.
Guys her answer will be on average 2 – 5 points lower than what you picked. Try not to get your feelings hurt, it’s hard but you can learn a lot if you choose to use the information presented. It will show you literally a blueprint to your woman’s heart. No more guessing if you did the right thing. She gave you a template to follow all you have to do is fill in the blanks & BOOM…. Happy GF/Wife = happy life!
Ladies, I haven’t forgotten about you either… in my experience most women will rate themselves lower than their mate does. Not sure why, but that is what happens most times.
What I learned for me quality time & physical touch are my two top ones. Because you really can’t have one without the other. Gifts are nice, acts of service to, but if I never see you then it’s empty gestures/tokens.
In my research I found out that after 17 days of no contact with your man he will literally disconnect from you emotionally. I know this is the text age & the “I’m busy” mantra. But we all get the same 24/7 what & who you choose to spend your time with says a lot. Now I’m not saying this gives men or women permission to cheat cause it doesn’t! If you’re in a committed relationship man the “F” & stay committed & if you can’t get out. Ladies, what I want to convey is this if you know you have a good guy & you want to keep him don’t let weeks or months go by & you’re too busy to see him. Guys this goes for you too! You’re telling me you don’t have an hour to spare for the person you claim to love?Go get some coffee, a drink, eat some caramel apples. lol Point being, it doesn’t need to be a uber long time, make whatever time you have matter! I ride a motorcycle & have gone to way to many funerals of young guys. Life can be short if something unfortunate happens. I don’t want you to have a lifetime of guilt or regret… or something as simple as being too busy. Or maybe you won’t either way it’s your life to choose. 🙂
Last thing & i think I mentioned before, but worth mentioning again: Talk to someone who towards the end of thing we call life & ask them to they have any regrets? If they do it usually something tied to people. I’ve never talked to an elderly person who says I wish i would’ve work a few thousand more hours or made X more money. So ends today’s thought stream… Have a blessed day wherever you are in the world
I love you & there’s not a thing you can do about!!
Love & light,
DC
16 Feb 17
Thoughts of a Mad Man... 