Random thoughts..

I spend 99% of my time alone & looking back at my life it has always been & that’s OK.

Up until recently, I just never realized I’m what society calls ugly!

Now granted I never thought I was Denzel or even Brad Pitt.

Just never really occurred to that I was so hideous I remind people of ……

But I guess it all makes sense then when  I think about it. 

I met a lot of people on line who never knew what I look like not even a lil bit.

We talked, laughed & got along swimmingly… secrets shared that not another knew.

I’ve been the secret keeper for many people in my life, which I thought was kinda cool.

Eventually pictures had to be exchanged some way that we could put a face to the words of the page.

Maybe even a phone call would happen eventually.  Since apparently actually talking on the phone is from a different age.

Once emails sent & pictures exchanged now the waiting starts.  1 hours becomes 2 & so on & so on.

Now my curiosity is pique since before this is emails flew back & forth faster the ending of a song.

So I wait & one of two things always happens without fail or exception to this day.

The first is the ghost: where I never, ever hear back from them.  Guess they ran out of things to say.

Or the email where they tell me how they don’t think it such a good idea to talk anymore.

Who am I to argue right after all it’s just another closing of one of life’s door.

No reason given most often just things have simply changed or they meet someone & want to see where it goes.

I need to rethink my desire to help & be there for others who are struggling or depressed

When I got thru my darkest hours, I do it alone as people have said “they don’t have time for my stress.”

If God deems it OK for me to sit alone through the muck & the mire.

Maybe I should stop caring & let them struggle perhaps then they’ll stand under my desire.

My desire to ease another’s pain.  That they know they aren’t alone.  That someone will listen & care.

However guess I really can’t as it seems to most people all I seem to do is scare!

But only until the pain or need gets to great & the stress is balancing on the tip.

The balancing act they’ve been doing so long is now causing them to slip.

Now comes the frantic email or call to DC… “what u doing now?  Please can you drop everything & help me?”

When I’m from that’s what friends did.  No questions or reservations drop everything… all I need to know where do you need me to be?

So I guess have need to unlearn the programming, I’ve run since birth as it out dated & in need of an upgrade.

Love & Light,

DC

©2017

 

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Author: DC

A walking contradiction... What you see isn’t what you get. To get to know the essence you need to open the book and read. An enigma; giving, selfless, conceited, arrogant, loner, author, friend, confidant, trainer, model, actor, and life coach. It really depends on your relationship with him. To someone who doesn’t know him or decides to judge the book by the cover; he is viewed as conceited, arrogant or even mean. Which is the exact opposite of who he is. He’s more of a shy introvert around those he doesn’t know or isn’t comfortable with. Get below the quiet exterior and you’ll find a heart that, to know is to love. He tries to live his life literally walking in love. He would give the shirt off his back to help. Raised by his mother, with no role model on what a man should be. He set out to be different than what he saw in the community. Men who abandoned their responsibilities to pursue whatever tickled their fancy was the norm. These men didn’t care about the damage caused by their selfish actions. He thought the road would be easy, but alas, it proved him wrong. Society had changed dramatically in a short time. People seemed to perceive his love as a weakness. Or perhaps they had not come across a person, who accepts them for them. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, they tried to manipulate a gift to their advantage. Left alone most of the time, he started to set his pain to print. Never intending for anyone to read it. However, God had a different plan in mind. He would use DC’s pain to show the women; that there are men out there, who do feel profoundly deeper than they think. To reach out to the masses that don’t know how to get others to understand what they are dealing with or have dealt with. He simply wanted to help people on a larger scale.

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