Retiring from the game…

Love can make you feel like you can touch the stars even walk on water.

Or it makes you feel as though you’re 20,000 leagues under the sea.

In reflection, it seems I don’t know what love is as I’m left feeling like a calf being taken to slaughter.

I had this grand illusion that if I looked hard & long enough I find someone who could love me.

But reality has a way of kicking one in the teeth or the proverbial seat of your pants.

I even thought I found the love of my adult life.  I even told her so cause I thought it was important.

In my illusion I thought this was it… I would always have a date on life’s little dance.

Well I waited & waited for some kind of response more than 6 months past.  I guess additional thought it didn’t warrant.

When I’m from love actually meant something; or perhaps it was a lie told to me to get me to be good.

How wrong is it to desire to mean something beyond a shoulder to lean on in their times of distress?

Or maybe just maybe there’s something missing that I haven’t & more than likely never understood.  Or is simply I’m just no good?

April 21, 2016 a friend I met only once & yet knew so well went home onto Heaven.

One year later & I still can’t stand under he’s not here.  I was supposed to be old standing in the Purple Rain.

He died alone in an elevator in pain beloved by millions, but there was none one there for his accession.  How sad is that for a revelation.

Beloved by many & yet he never felt the love off the stage.  Although quite different, I can relate to his pain.

If I’m not doing for others my phone doesn’t ring or chime.  After all at present they don’t have a need.

In light of recent events, I see the love I offer isn’t something that has value in this realm.

So I’m throwing in the towel as of today… for you all I wish you God speed!

I’m tired & weary from lack of sleep that has lasted decades… I guess I’m finally overwhelmed.

 

 

Love & Light,

DC

©2017

Unknown's avatar

Author: DC

A walking contradiction... What you see isn’t what you get. To get to know the essence you need to open the book and read. An enigma; giving, selfless, conceited, arrogant, loner, author, friend, confidant, trainer, model, actor, and life coach. It really depends on your relationship with him. To someone who doesn’t know him or decides to judge the book by the cover; he is viewed as conceited, arrogant or even mean. Which is the exact opposite of who he is. He’s more of a shy introvert around those he doesn’t know or isn’t comfortable with. Get below the quiet exterior and you’ll find a heart that, to know is to love. He tries to live his life literally walking in love. He would give the shirt off his back to help. Raised by his mother, with no role model on what a man should be. He set out to be different than what he saw in the community. Men who abandoned their responsibilities to pursue whatever tickled their fancy was the norm. These men didn’t care about the damage caused by their selfish actions. He thought the road would be easy, but alas, it proved him wrong. Society had changed dramatically in a short time. People seemed to perceive his love as a weakness. Or perhaps they had not come across a person, who accepts them for them. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, they tried to manipulate a gift to their advantage. Left alone most of the time, he started to set his pain to print. Never intending for anyone to read it. However, God had a different plan in mind. He would use DC’s pain to show the women; that there are men out there, who do feel profoundly deeper than they think. To reach out to the masses that don’t know how to get others to understand what they are dealing with or have dealt with. He simply wanted to help people on a larger scale.

3 thoughts on “Retiring from the game…”

Leave a comment