Reflection 2019

The good ole days are gone.

Let’s be honest, they’re best left alone.

But I still love you.

However I keep that to myself.. cause I know it doesn’t matter.

Everything I tried to do was taken out of context.

You thought it didn’t matter to me, You cant  be more wrong as there won’t be a next… not for me.

I struggle with expressing myself in real life cause I never seem to have the right words

But not you, you seem to always know what to say even when it cuts me like a sword.

You never saw the pain I suffered at your heart & hands.

After all I’m simply human, but even worse just a man.

I should be able to stand attacks on all sides & never show any sign of pain or hurt.

What you never understood off my back , I would’ve given you my shirt.

But this society only wants men who are tall, dark & handsome.

Oh let’s not forget the most important… sense of humor!

Why am I so sure ? After reading thousands of women’s profiles.

I see it as a fact not a rumor.

As of Jan 2019, the hopeless romantic has retired from the game.

I finally accepted the harsh truth, as I’m currently equipped love has only left me in extreme amounts of pain.  I accept 1000% of the responsibility for who I am.

Undesirable, Un-loveable, un-friend able… if not for Jesus.. one of the damned!

However I will not pass this onto another as I have no heirs.

My bloodline & the suffering & isolation ends when I transition to the next plane.

So to my unborn son this pain will never be theirs.

While to anyone who reads this you might see hurt, pain or maybe even regret.

Quite the contrary, knowing the next few decades will pass quickly & I will transition alone.

My faith is Christ is on the other side to greet me & I’ll finally be able to rest.

DC

© Feb 2019

 

Written today (7 Feb 19) at work inspired while listening to Inside out by Genesis.  One of my fav old skool songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-IpCQp5Wdw

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Author: DC

A walking contradiction... What you see isn’t what you get. To get to know the essence you need to open the book and read. An enigma; giving, selfless, conceited, arrogant, loner, author, friend, confidant, trainer, model, actor, and life coach. It really depends on your relationship with him. To someone who doesn’t know him or decides to judge the book by the cover; he is viewed as conceited, arrogant or even mean. Which is the exact opposite of who he is. He’s more of a shy introvert around those he doesn’t know or isn’t comfortable with. Get below the quiet exterior and you’ll find a heart that, to know is to love. He tries to live his life literally walking in love. He would give the shirt off his back to help. Raised by his mother, with no role model on what a man should be. He set out to be different than what he saw in the community. Men who abandoned their responsibilities to pursue whatever tickled their fancy was the norm. These men didn’t care about the damage caused by their selfish actions. He thought the road would be easy, but alas, it proved him wrong. Society had changed dramatically in a short time. People seemed to perceive his love as a weakness. Or perhaps they had not come across a person, who accepts them for them. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, they tried to manipulate a gift to their advantage. Left alone most of the time, he started to set his pain to print. Never intending for anyone to read it. However, God had a different plan in mind. He would use DC’s pain to show the women; that there are men out there, who do feel profoundly deeper than they think. To reach out to the masses that don’t know how to get others to understand what they are dealing with or have dealt with. He simply wanted to help people on a larger scale.

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