I still love you 

I keep living a lie that & that breaks my heart makes me wanna die
A generational curse that I’m gonna break with my demise.
No More O+> bloodline, no more pain or left unsaid lies.
My past as a child is a mystery 2 me.
No1 older will speaks on it.  I watch the walls go up as they stare at me….
They want to let it be.
In their choice of silence they choose 2 kill me. I can’t fix what i  don’t know about.
U WERE my family, U were supposed 2 protect the innocent. 
Just know U ensured a lifetime of doubt.
I live tormented, suffering alone in silence. 1 Failed relationship after another. 
Buts its all good cos U have Ur family… Ur legacies.
So in the end, it will end as it always has been it’ll just be me
I don’t know how 2 accept love or caring… it feels strange.
I know how 2 give till my heart bleeds & their is nothing left in me.
Its a choice I make/made.  A lesson that i can’t break out of.
I sleep less than 3 hours a day now.
The pressure keeps increasing day after day.
A pressure cooker waiting to implode. 
Which will yet another story that is left untold
How 2 end this??…. 
Not all quiet people are angry or upset.  Maybe they are broken, hurting & so tired of reaching out only 2 be rejected again.
In that their silence has become their only solace & friend.
DC
Love & Light
  © Oct 2019
inspired by the song of the same name by Kiss… unplugged.
It was blasting in my headphones trying to drown out the worlds noise.  Instead this came out thru teary eyes & a tormented soul….
This is about no one specific.  i am not caring a torch 4 anyone. 
I know the truth about what i am. 
So tired of being accused on being stuck on someone. 
Truth of it is if i let any1 get 2 close & they see beneath the surface the leave all on their own.
Like i said I know what i am & that in the end makes them run 4 the hills. 
I get it, but i cant run from what I am….
RIP Purple Yoda: Prince  Miss Ur nu music man
Welcome 2 the Dawn!
Unknown's avatar

Author: DC

A walking contradiction... What you see isn’t what you get. To get to know the essence you need to open the book and read. An enigma; giving, selfless, conceited, arrogant, loner, author, friend, confidant, trainer, model, actor, and life coach. It really depends on your relationship with him. To someone who doesn’t know him or decides to judge the book by the cover; he is viewed as conceited, arrogant or even mean. Which is the exact opposite of who he is. He’s more of a shy introvert around those he doesn’t know or isn’t comfortable with. Get below the quiet exterior and you’ll find a heart that, to know is to love. He tries to live his life literally walking in love. He would give the shirt off his back to help. Raised by his mother, with no role model on what a man should be. He set out to be different than what he saw in the community. Men who abandoned their responsibilities to pursue whatever tickled their fancy was the norm. These men didn’t care about the damage caused by their selfish actions. He thought the road would be easy, but alas, it proved him wrong. Society had changed dramatically in a short time. People seemed to perceive his love as a weakness. Or perhaps they had not come across a person, who accepts them for them. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, they tried to manipulate a gift to their advantage. Left alone most of the time, he started to set his pain to print. Never intending for anyone to read it. However, God had a different plan in mind. He would use DC’s pain to show the women; that there are men out there, who do feel profoundly deeper than they think. To reach out to the masses that don’t know how to get others to understand what they are dealing with or have dealt with. He simply wanted to help people on a larger scale.

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